Pulitzer Colonoscopy

20 Mar

suprisedThis article was handed to the moose and became a must post.  The moose has unfortunately had this experience and it was a pain in the —.  The writer is Dave Barry a Pulitzer Prize winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.  All these comments had me crying with laughter.  If you don’t know what a colonoscopy is Google it – I am not covering this here.  Seriously!


Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt.  I felt excellent.  I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors.  I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

On the subject of Colonoscopies….

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam quite humorous.  A physician claimed that the following are actual comments mad by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

  1. “Take it easy Doc.  You’re boldly going where no man has gone before.”
  2. “Find Amelia Earhart yet?”
  3. “Can you hear me NOW?”
  4. “Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?”
  5. “You know, in Arkansas, we’re now legally married.”
  6. “Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?”
  7. “You put your left hand in, you take you left hand out…”
  8. “Hey!  Now I know how a Muppet feels!”
  9. “If your hand doesn’t fit, you must quit!”
  10. “Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.”
  11. “You used to be an executive at Enron, didn’t you?”
  12. “Now I know why I am not gay”

And the best of the all:  “Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?”

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Posted by on March 20, 2015 in Uncategorized


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