This article was handed to the moose and became a must post. The moose has unfortunately had this experience and it was a pain in the —. The writer is Dave Barry a Pulitzer Prize winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald. All these comments had me crying with laughter. If you don’t know what a colonoscopy is Google it – I am not covering this here. Seriously!
Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.
On the subject of Colonoscopies….
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam quite humorous. A physician claimed that the following are actual comments mad by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
- “Take it easy Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before.”
- “Find Amelia Earhart yet?”
- “Can you hear me NOW?”
- “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”
- “You know, in Arkansas, we’re now legally married.”
- “Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?”
- “You put your left hand in, you take you left hand out…”
- “Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!”
- “If your hand doesn’t fit, you must quit!”
- “Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.”
- “You used to be an executive at Enron, didn’t you?”
- “Now I know why I am not gay”
And the best of the all: “Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?”